lays open like a road

I will be in Japan soon! I leave tomorrow morning. And I finally have my iTunes sorted out.

School is over! I can't even believe it. I keep telling myself, "Look, love, you made it, and see where you are now!" This has been a painful and wonderful year, and I wouldn't change a minute of it.


I started my EE Cummings book recently, and I think this poem stopped my breathing for a moment:

who are you,little i

five or six years old)
peering from some high

window;at the gold


of november sunset

(and feeling:that if day
has to become night

this is a beautiful way)

So it's Rorschach and Prozac and everything is groovy! or, 10 reasons why Nick Cave is awesome

I cannot stop listening to this guy. I'm pretty sure that this is going to be my Big Discovery Of The Year™ the way Patrick Wolf was last year.

The Mercy Seat
Of course. Acoustic performance of a portion of the song. The original is immense, but I think the stripped-down sound lends itself nicely as well.


Henry Lee
A duet with PJ Harvey, one of my favorite people. It's unreal how good these two sound together. Tis a shame that it didn't work out between them. Also, the video was shot in one take, which is pretty cool.


Do You Love Me?
Let Love In was my third album after Murder Ballads and The Boatman's Call. I remember the first time I heard this song, when the piano kicked in I'm like awww fuck yeah, son.


Stagger Lee
COOLEST BASSLINE EVAR. Also, dance moves.


John Finn's Wife
I can't find anything for this song on Youtube and that makes me sad. The strings. The STRINGS. I love how this song just races along and pulls you in. Also, awesome imagery.
Well, midnight came and clock did strike/And in she came, did John Finn's wife/With legs like scissors and butcher's knives/Tattooed breasts and flaming eyes/And a crimson carnation in her teeth/Carving her way through the dance floor/And I'm standing over by the bandstand/Every eye gaping on John Finn's wife/Yeah, every eye gaping on John Finn's wife...

Into My Arms
Beautiful.


Deanna
FUCKING NUTS. I love how unabashedly over the top ridiculous this is.


As I Sat Sadly By Her Side
Oh, it hurts.


There She Goes, My Beautiful World
I don't normally like gospel choirs (o hay Witness!) but this song is killer and I love it to a degree that it probably ridiculous. The lyrics are amazing. (Although this performance cuts out one of my favorite bits.)
The wintergreen, the juniper/The cornflower and the chicory/All the words you said to me/Still vibrating in the air/The elm, the ash and the linden tree/The dark and deep enchanted sea/The trembling moon and the stars unfurled/There she goes, my beautiful world..../I will kneel at your feet/I will lie at your door/I will rock you to sleep/I will roll on the floor/And I'll ask for nothing/Nothing in this life/I'll ask for nothing/Give me ever-lasting life/I just want to move the world.


Loverman
The full-length version of this song is 6 minutes of glorious and epic, even though he apparently can't spell 'know' or 'any'.

conclusions I come to

Sometimes I want the world to notice me, but for the most part I'm content with being different in my own heart.

I'm having a Boatman's Call day

and this song is the most perfect thing in the world to me right now-


With a crooked smile and a heart-shaped face
Comes from the west country where the birds sing bass
She's got a house-big heart where we all live
Plead and council and forgive
Her widow's peak, her lips I've kissed
A glove of bones at her wrist
And I've held in my hand
Her Spanish fly and her monkey gland
Her godly body and its fourteen stations
That I have embraced, her palpitations
Her unborn baby crying 'Mummy'
Against the rubble of her body
Her lovely lidded eyes I've sipped
Her fingernails all pink and chipped
Her accent, which I'm told is broad
That I have heard, and has been poured
Into my human heart and filled me
With love up to the brim and killed me
And rebuilt me back anew
With something to look forward to
Who could ask much more than that?
West country girl with a big fat cat
Looks into her eyes of green
And meows 'He loves you', then meows again.

I just want to float away with those strings. And I just LOVE when I get struck by inspiration in the middle of class...not. My creativity has awful timing. but now I have an idea for a new painting.

too beautiful to put into words - summer plans?

Holy crap, school ends next week. Next week I'll be a senior. AHHHH. That is a scary thought. Part of me doesn't feel ready for the transition to college. But another part of me is welcoming it, and is ready to take the step towards independence and a life devoted to my art. This entire post is probably going to sound terribly pretentious, and I apologize in advance DAMMIT MY ITUNES JUST RICKROLLED ME

Anyway yeah. So summer. Next week I'm also going to be in another country (!! sdakl;gjasklh.;ask), and when I get home I can start looking for a job. I'm really hoping to get something at the teahouse, because that's something that I am actually interested in and would put a lot of effort towards. But if that doesn't work out I'll figure out something else (petsitting would also be ideal, but I need my license.) My goal this summer is to work like crazy - in any possible job I may get and on my artwork.

I really need to start accumulating work for a portfolio and seriously look into some WA art schools. And just work endlessly towards improvement. I'm only really disappointed in my artwork when I inevitably compare it to someone else's and realize how much more time and effort I need to put into this before I can really feel satisfied. I don't know if I'll ever be fully satisfied, but I want to get as close as I can. (forever incomplete...) All I want to do with my life is live in art. practice, practice.

I still need to remember to love myself.

I hear in my mind, all this muuuuusic

I just came across this quote from Alanis regarding Flavors:

"I think in terms of colors and the more sort of A, C, D songs, those chords are primary colors - yellow, red, and I think there's a lot of purple on this record, purples and dark emerald greens, and grays."

It's interesting, because as far as my own synesthesia goes with this album:

-Citizen of the Planet = the last chorus is sort of a light blue...don't get much for the rest of the song, though

-Underneath = blue + green

-Straitjacket = BRIGHT green + black + white

-Versions of Violence = dark purple

-Not As We = gray

-In Praise of the Vulnerable Man = a soft red, not pink but not crimson

-Moratorium = sepia

-Torch = dark green

-Giggling Again for No Reason = soft green

-Tapes = this awful murky yellow (I will never stop harping on my hatred for this song!)

-Incomplete = gold, bits of rainbow with the guitar

-Orchid = soft purple

-The Guy Who Leaves = kind of reddish...bits of gold

-Madness = don't get much of anything

-Limbo No More = ditto

-On the Tequila = tequila-colored, lawlz

-It's a Bitch to Grow Up = yellow + green (I just noticed that I haven't written about this song yet. I'm pretty sure I hate it. Not as much as Tapes, but it's incredibly annoying.)

-20/20 = bright blue

So yeah, I see some overlap there. Huh. Purples, grays, yellows...although I wouldn't know a C chord from a hole in the ground so I don't know which songs she might be referring to.

I don't even know why I'm writing about this. I like to think about colors. and think IN colors!

Things I Need To Do Before I Go To Japan, part deux

- buy a new backpack (Mom is going to REI this week)
- cash my bonds (did so today. I also got a card from my grandparents containing a $100 check, which is incredibly nice of them.)
- finalize PXK iTunes (still a work in progress, probably will be until midnight of the 18th)
- find out how much battery power PXK actually has (need to do this)
- go to the bookstore (see below!)
- buy a bitchload of disposable cameras (Mom's letting me bring the digital camera.)
- maybe get a trip sketchbook (Don't know if I'm actually going to do this, chances are I have an empty one lying around)

Anyway, books! ♥ I picked up:
-The Mists of Avalon - I've read this already, but I bought another copy because the one I do have is horribly mangled. (I lent it to Laura a few years ago and Luke nommed on it...)
-Bullfinch's Mythology - this is the book that I saw at B&N a few weeks ago but didn't get. I bought the abridged version because the original's HUGE and I don't want to be carrying too many heavy books around.
-Heroes, Gods, and Monsters of the Greek Myths - I don't care that I know most of these stories by heart already, I love them. ♥
-Myths and Legends of Japan - WHY NO, I DON'T HAVE ENOUGH MYTHOLOGY BOOKS. I don't know any Japanese myths, though!
-Othello - My ongoing attempts to bone up on my Shakespeare.
-e.e cummings Selected Poems - I love him, but for some reason I never actually owned any of his work. the little horse is newlY is probably my favorite poem of all time.


I got a copy of what is close to our finalized itinerary for the trip:
June 19th: Take the 8:45 ferry to Seattle, take the 12:52 flight (ten motherfucking hours. it's a good thing I will have reading material/an iPod full of my favorite albums/my pokemanz to keep me occupied.)
June 20th: Land at Narita at 2:55 PM, take the bullet train to Kyoto
June 21st: Sightseeing in Kyoto- Kinkakuji, Nijojo, Kiyomizudera
June 22nd: Visiting Nara - Todaiji, Nara National Museum, feeding deer :D
June 23rd: Hiking in Hozu, Hozu river cruise, Saruyama, Arashiyama, Yuzen studio
June 24th: We still don't know what we're doing this day, we might be going to Osaka
June 25th: Meito High School in Nagoya, take the bullet train to Tokyo
June 26th: Kyoritsu Women's University, Imperial Palace Higashi Gyoen Park
June 27th: Tsukiji Fish Market, Akihabara, Harajuku
June 28th: Diet House, Ghibli Museum, Karaoke!!, Shinjuku
June 29th: Asakusa, take 4:55 flight, arrive back in Washington at 9:43 AM

AHHHHHHHHH.

Things I Need To Do Before I Go To Japan:

- buy a new backpack
- cash my bonds
- finalize PXK iTunes (I have about 300 songs' worth of room left...sigh)
- find out how much battery power PXK actually has
- go to the bookstore
- buy a bitchload of disposable cameras
- maybe get a trip sketchbook (I think a visit to Winslow may be in order.)

AHHHHHHHH. ACTUALLY GETTING KIND OF NERVOUS NOW.

finally

It's Barack!!

I wish I were old enough to vote.

Thought that occurred to me recently -

- if you told me this time last year where I would be today, I don't think I would have believed you...