sigh.

I'm in an odd mood today. One moment I'm feeling great and the next I'm worried out of my mind all over again. It's frustrating. I just have to keep telling myself that everything will be okay - it always is, in the end.

I'm listening to Lycanthropy, and that helps. It always does.

Wolf Song is playing and I'm remembering how magical it was back in October. First song of the show and I'm already in tears. Something about it unlocks something...I don't know. I guess nostalgia is the closest thing I can compare it to. There's something very young about this song and something that hits me on an almost primal level. But it's hugely comforting. It's in there.
...Bloodbeat was brilliant live too. God, I can never get over how perfect this album is, just how much it means to me. Stop hiding! Get right down to it! Hunt it down.
(I guess I'm writing track-by-track now. Okay.)
-To the Lighthouse was my first P-Wolf song. Build your castles, stop collecting stones, and the riverbed shall not be your home. Great great minds against themselves conspire. Cultivating a sense of self, nurturing it...let too much doubt set in and it'll weigh you down. You'll drown. Oh god, the violin at the end kills me.
-Pigeon Song...it always makes me smile to remember that the movie at the cinema in question was Harry Potter and the Sorceror's Stone. Hee. This song really sounds like London somehow. Or what I remember London to be. Moving my way home...
-Don't Say No. I used to say 'just follow your heart', but my heart always led me in circles. I used to say 'just follow your dreams', but my dreams always led me to murder. So now I don't say nothing at all...if you're brave enough you'll give yourself away. That rings particularly true for me.
-Childcatcher hurts so much to listen to. I can't even imagine. The last couple lines of the song - I've got no time for victims... - knowing that it's directed at himself makes it even harder. And I can't listen to this without immediately following it up with Demolition. It just aches. Also, the recorder is so beautiful.
-London really does sound like London. I kind of pair this song and Pigeon Song together in my head. Leaving home to go and find yourself again.
-Paris...god, how much could I say about Paris...but can't say because all I can do is feel. Every word goes straight to my heart. You, my love, you must come to joy, turn your head to the sun. It's all down to YOU. These are the things I tell myself when I'm losing hope. And that's what I love so much about this album - each song inspires me, in its own way and all together as a whole...I can't even describe it. It's pure beauty.
-Peter Pan is just about the cutest thing ever. It sounds almost like a b-side that got tacked onto the album, but it works. Remember, if it weren't for fighting, we'd be fighting forevermore. Da da dum da da da dum!
-Lycanthropy is absolute perfection and ties everything together so beautifully. Let go of all limitations and just be yourself in everything you do. Also, the recorder is just SO beautiful. (I actually think that on some level, one reason I'm so drawn to this album is because of all the recorders. Since I played as a kid, it evokes something in me...) The image I get from this song is a bunch of people singing and dancing around a campfire. Pure joy and freedom.
-A Boy Like Me is the perfect ending track (not counting the epilogue). It's emerging triumphant! I don't give up! I'm never going to give up on my dream.

...you know, I do feel better now.